My Most Obvious Secret

I know I’m supposed to be moving on right now and everything… but…

I find that I can’t help but ask.

Don’t you ever stop for a moment and remember stuff?

Don’t you ever put a little pause on life and think to yourself, “Oh my god.  That is over and done with.  That will never be my life… ever again.  No matter what anybody says or whatever I want to happen, it’s done.”

Yeah we’ll be happy.  We’ll be fine. Life will change and evolve and new things will bring us joy.

But doesn’t it bother you that it won’t be with me? 

Is there a little space inside of you where you know I belong, but I’m just not there to fill it?

I think of the last time I saw you.  That night... the way it felt to walk up the steps to my porch and try not to look back--try to be strong.
What I would do to be in that moment again and have the option of turning around and begging you to stay for just a moment longer. 

Frankly, you make me feel absolutely stupid.

But I just can’t help it.  This is me.  I am weak and dependent and I miss you.

Still.

Just as much as the day you left.