End of the Road

I love this woman so much.  I don't think she could even fathom...

Today Patrick told me I'm so screwed after she moves--just out of the blue as I was relating a few of our most recent adventures to him.  I was just about to argue, when I stopped, and, instead, muttered "I know."

Turning Page

One Way

A Grand Three Years

I just now realized that as of last night my family has lived on the Japanese island of Okinawa for three years.
My gosh... how time flies!!!

It feels like just yesterday I was climbing off of that big plane, breaking into hysterics. 

I don't think it's really a secret that coming here was not my idea of a good time.  I'm pretty sure I cried about it every night after we found out.
Before this we lived in Imperial, California.  It's a small town, but I grew to love it more than anything. 
The thought of being ripped from the people I cared about so much was impossible for me to bear.  As soon as we got here I went into a sort of state of depression.  That summer I completely shut myself into my house.  It didn't matter who came to the door, what they wanted to do, when they wanted to do it.  I was set upon staying inside and wasting my life away on a computer, dreaming about what all of my old friends must be doing without me.  My family was thrilled with the new home, and so they were eager to get out and experience as much as possible.  I made sure to stay a grump on all of our outings, sometimes refusing to eat, or even crying right in the middle of things.  I wonder why they bothered taking me out after that.
But they did. 

It's three years later now.  And I'm wondering: what on earth changed so that what used to send me plummeting into a cold, dark pit of despair is now my favorite place in the whole world?

Well I have the answer for that question.  It's love.  Sounds cheesy, I know.  But now that I'm thinking about it... Imperial was just a little town an hour away from the border.  We were even more the minority there--in our own country!  It got up to 120 degrees in the summer and we had to drive two hours through the mountains to San Diego to get a lot of things.  Heck, for almost a year we lived in a travel trailer.  The only possible explanation for my adoration of the place is my love for the people. 

Now that I think about it... I'm still not too fond of Japanese culture.  I mean I have nothing against it--it's just not my own.  It doesn't feel like home. 
But I love my little island of Okinawa, Japan.  I love the feeling of warmth and security I get when I think about the people.  I love that I have a million and one friends who I can all trust with the deepest of secrets, or just have an awesome time with.  I love that I have freedom and I get to learn more about the world and the exotic forests and I love having a real best friend and growing up and making new, quirky traditions that only work because we live here.  I love the security blanket the military provides for everyone and having new people move in constantly and the politeness of the locals.  I love that I would be able to leave my car keys on the hood of my car and come back and they'd still be there.  I love getting to go to FamilyMart and jump off the seawall and take pictures and go to Family Fun Land and American Village and Cocos and Sushi-Go-Round.  I love the little herds of Japanese children that wander around town in matching hats and the tiny cars and crazy Okinawan drivers and the completely bipolar weather.  I love that it gets hot in the summers and cold enough to actually wear a jacket during winter.  I love the fact that I actually found my niche in highschool, like I so doubted I would as a child.  I love being referred to as a "drama kid."  I love spontaneous adventures through the back-roads of the city with Sarah, I love long walks with Alicia, I love my lover-twin Abby, and staying up talking about everything with Bailey.  I love the mini "family" we've created with Cody as the father, Sarah as the mother, Bailey as my older sister, and me as the baby.  I love the amazing group of youth we have here and the fact that I can look at anyone and, for at least a second, I see the love our Heavenly Father must have for them.

So thank you for these three years, Okinawa.  They have been marvelous--full of growth and love.  I'm giving you all of my teenage years.  Do good with them.

Here's to another two.

Dear David Archuleta,

Hey there.  I know for a fact you're not going to be reading this post.... I might decide to actually send you a letter.  We shall see.

But I just wanted to say that YOU are now one of my heroes.

Here on Okinawa you're pretty popular, if only because you came here for a concert.
It's not uncommon to love you.

I love you because you came to Okinawa to sing for us.  We're such a small community of military families, and yet, you sang at a completely free concert.  You dedicated one of my favorite songs to your mom.  How many superstars do that?!! You gave me the chance to check off one of the boxes in my imaginary teenage checklist of screaming like a fan girl at a concert, which I probably wasn't going to get to do, seeing as I'm stranded here for all of my teenage years.  Because of you I got to get together with all of my girlfriends and make shirts that spelled out your name.  I got to scream and jump up and down and laugh and just be a kid.  I got to get a piggyback ride from my best friend in the pouring rain and eat subway and have a sleepover that night.  Fun stuff.

But then, not only that, but you agreed to hold a fireside for all of the church members on the island.  It was so amazing hearing your story and the trials you went through.  Of course I brought a couple of nonmember friends, and, even though they're probably not converting any time soon, you helped me to plant some of those seeds. 

You're now about to serve a mission!  What a blessing to get to serve the lord even after becoming so famous. 

And, do you want to know the last reason--the reason that settled my opinions?

Rather than staying at home when it's only a couple of days until Christmas, you decided to go to Primary Childrens' Hospital and visit my sweet cousin Baylee.  She's spending Christmas there, getting chemotherapy.  That is the real reason why you are my hero.  You took the time to brighten a young lady's day--to make this dreary time a little sweeter. 

So thank you, David Archuleta.  Thank you for being a valiant son of God, even when so blessed.

Nonsense

I don't always make sense--

but when I do, 

I don't.

I Have a Sadness Shield

The Secret of Happiness

 

I suppose we all have to figure it out for ourselves.

Sometimes I Pretend...

Dearest Daniel,

After talking with you tonight I feel inclined to write you a little message.
You do read my blog, after all ;)
I feel that deserves a post.

But yes.  I just wanted to say that you are so amazing, a true diamond in the rough.  It is so rare to find a boy our age who is such a mature gentleman.  I only actually knew you for a week (EFY, best week of my life), though I feel like you're a fourth brother to me.  I remember when all of the girls in our EFY company got together to give the boys awards... yours was best escort.  It meant a lot to all of us that you took your job so seriously. 
Please don't ever change.  Someday a girl is going to fall head over heels with you, and she'll be right to do so. 
You always have the best insight for my silly problems.  I wish I had your kind of perspective.

So, I guess I'm trying to say thank you.  Thank you for restoring my opinion of the male population.  Thank you for being there when I just need to talk about a certain boy.  Thank you for being you :}

Many tender affections,
Corenna Jellybeana

Hey, Mr. Perfect!

It's Coree... again.

The past couple of days I've been thinking about you even more than usual.
I miss you so desperately.  Because we've met before, of course--back when this huge mess we call "life" was just a plan that our Father came up with.

I feel so lost.  So... clueless.  I have no direction to shoot for in life.  No map to find you.
Sometimes I wonder if you're here--if I've already met you on earth and I don't even know it.  Maybe you really are that boy I call sleeze-bag these days, just like I used to believe with all of my heart and soul.  Or perhaps you're the sweet kid who I joke around with about us being a married couple.  Maybe you're the one who I loved as a child, watching from a far as you played with my older brothers.  Wouldn't it be nice if you were the kid I currently dream of!  Maybe you're one of the weird kids I've accumulated as fans over the years, or even the creeper who's recently come into my life.  I don't think any of those would really disappoint me, because if I did end up with you, then that would have to mean you're worth something and you don't disgust me... right?

I just want you to hold my hand right now.  To be my rock--the one who will always be here, no matter how pissy I'm being. 
Sure, my friends are the kind where I can hold hands with them any time, cuddle with them any time, joke around as if they're my lover on a whim...

But, you know, laughing about it can only go so far.  Joking around with my friends can only do so much.

I just have to remind myself that you'll come.  I have to remind myself that you really are perfect... for me, at least. And, when the decision presents itself, I won't feel like I'm settling.  I can't rush this.  I can't settle for the first guy who comes along and takes an interest in me.  Unless, of course, he happens to be you.

Make yourself known, okay?  Hold a sign or something. 

Until then, here I wait.

Nineteen Again at Grand Central Station

The General Feeling of Tonight

Big Jet Plane

Embarrassment

Embarrassment will happen.  If you're anything like me, it'll happen daily.  

At times it will probably feel something like a bullet piercing through the watermelon of suckage, shot from the gun of hatred and despair and reclusiveness.

But....

Sometimes you just gotta smile and push through it, because if you sulk too much you'll miss your chances to make things right again.

Giraffy Mondays 001

I told you guys you'd like my Monday theme :D  Giraffes!!!  Yes, since Mondays are the scum of the earth spawned from Satan, I figured that a little giraffiness would help make them a little less satanic. 

A Brownie Christmas

This is the season when I wonder if you're still out there somewhere... 

if you're getting your own Christmas

if you still get a stocking with rawhide bones in it 

if you still get all excited when we unpack decorations and bake and open presents, even though you're not here.

 

I miss this.

That Final Embrace

Early Mornings With Abby and Charlotte

Abigail came by this morning :D  Way to make me leap out of bed and throw on the appropriate coordinating outfit planned for the day at the sound of the doorbell, thinking I had slept in for a photoshoot!


Anyways, turns out Abby was here for my brother.  But, unlike me, he really had slept in for an appointment.  So I got to go outside with her and my kitty, Charlotte :D
I decided to bring Geofferson and so we had fun.

 My cat seriously deserves to be a model.  It's a good thing, too, considering the only reason my mom agreed to get her were those beautiful green eyes.  She's a pain in the butt, otherwise.

 Abby tried her hand with Geofferson.  I love these flowers in front of my house.  I think this is the best picture we have of them so far.

 Unlike Abby, Coree is not a morning person.  

"The light..... it burns!!!"

Abby rocking her converse

Feel free to drop by my house any time, Abigail :D  Those 10 minutes or so were fun.

Sunday Devotional I

Okay so I've decided that I'm going to come up with a few weekly post themes so that I have at least a bit of direction with some of my blog posts.

The first of which to be enforced is....

Sunday Devotional!! Yaayyyy! 
So I'm sure all of you religious folks know that Sunday is a special day.  A lot of times Sundays feel like just any other day of the week for me, so in an effort to direct the focus towards more holy things at least a little bit, I am going to post some little spiritual thought every week on Sunday.  Soooo creative, right? 

I think you guys will like my Monday post tradition, too :D

So today I'm just posting a video, but that's good enough. 
I feel like this is so true.  Perhaps if I had been more spiritually in tune I would have been able to finish that book.  Looking back, I was creative enough to come up with the awesome plot during a short period where He was pretty much all I thought about.  Then the book absorbed me and led me off to new friends and challenges... and I left Him by the wayside. 
Moral of the story: read the scriptures and pray and you'll turn into a famous artist or bestselling author.