You made a big mistake last night with those comments. See, I am a loyal person, and a person good at admiring from a far. I've been doing this for a while... admiring your blog, your quiet intelligence in class, the witty conversations you and my friend seem to always be having. I quite honestly looked up to you. But, being a loyal person, I find betrayal to be a horribly bitter sin for which I do not often give mercy.
You have betrayed me.
In my slap-happy stupor you witnessed over facebook chat last night, despite my friend's attempts at snatching back the wireless keyboard, I described to you in detail the things I would do if I got my hands on you. If you've ever seen Llamas With Hats... well, there are subtle similarities. You have come to this blog to see what stinging words of vengeance I have thrust upon the internet.
I'll keep this simple. I am not somebody to be crossed. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell
you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of
skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make
me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now,
that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue
you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will
kill you.
Oh wait... no, that's Taken... same idea.
Ah well. Really I'm just excited you're reading my blog. See ya!
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