Taking Out the Trash

If people could see me when I take out the trash... well, I would have even less dignity than I have now.

Imagine this for me.  It's rather dark outside, the streetlights emitting only a faint yellow glow on the rest of the world.  The white-noise of rain is heard, like shaking sprinkles of creepiness over a cupcake of doom.  Hesitantly, a door squeaks open.  This is only on the rare nights when someone else isn't convinced to do the work.  A hunched figure slowly emerges, peeking around the corner.  The whole scene is assessed carefully a time or two... or five.  One foot in front of the other.  It seems like it should be easy, but suddenly the whole world seems to be filled with murderers and rapists and feline predators, hiding behind corners and in the trees and in all nooks and crannies in existence.  The sloshing sound that comes with each footstep against the wet pavement sends a new shiver up her spine.  She arches her back, stands up on her toes, and holds her cursed load way out in front of her.
She rounds the corner, almost expecting to find someone waiting for her there.  It's surprising when she finds only darkness and precipitation.  Her steps and heart-rate quicken, almost in a race with each other.  The goal is so close... carefully she lifts up the lid.  A movie plays through her mind, about how there was a black hole secretly inserted in that one specific can by scientists hired by the government and it was just waiting for her to lift up that lid so it could suck her into its pit of terror and misery and crime and abuse and sadfaces.  No such pit exists.... not even the shock of a taunting gecko.
The way back is even worse in ways.  There is someone behind her... she can feel it.  Now they are closing in, getting ready to pounce and kill like a starving lioness.  Not her.  She has no intentions of being a zebra for that lioness to eat.  Her pace quickens into an awkward sprint, affected by the way she stays on her toes.  She holds her arms in close to protect them from any predators awaiting in the dark...

Bottom line, I look like a T-Rex chasing after a laser pointer.