Well Crap....

Those were a lot of years wasted.
If I had known that you actually would have rather been doing other things but just didn't want me to be upset, then I would have found somebody else.  I don't think you get this.... but I am not repulsive.  Actually, I have a lot of people who reach out to me.  I just knew that you didn't really have anybody else, and I liked you, so I chose you.
Believe it or not... my relationship with you is pretty much the only unhealthy one I've had.  It's driven me into the ground, trying to please you and get you to notice me in ways that I find out just make it worse.  Now you just see me in a way that nobody else does.
I'm not sure if it's you or them who sees an illusion...

I'm done with this.  I just want to be healthy and happy and satisfied for the first time in my life.  I hate caring so much about someone who really could care less at this point what I do.  I've been playing my cards wrong for too long.

So good-bye.  I'm going to try just being by myself for a while... physically by myself, rather than just mentally, like I always seem to be.  If you want me, please feel free to call.  I don't want to push you away.  I never want you to feel alone like I do.
 But so help me, if you do call, you better not be doing it just because you feel sorry for me.  It better not be because you want me to be happy.  I'm only going to if it will make you happy.  I refuse to be somebody you just play along with... no... that is an identity that I have never wanted for myself, even if I might have attained it.