Trying to Stop Sucking

As a teenager, I figure it's only natural that I'm usually a pretty selfish person.  I do what I want, when I want, so that I can be happy.

But lately I've been trying to suck just a little bit less and think of other people for a change.  Little by little, it's starting to work.

I find that while I used to just want her all to myself and I wanted us to go out and do stuff and take pictures so that I could post them on the internet and people could see how attractive photo editing can make me look and how cute my best friend is.  I wanted her to care only about me.  I wanted the security of someone who would always care.  I wanted the best friend you always see on TV where you can do just about anything and you don't have to worry about what you say or do as long as you're kind to them and they'll treat you like family.

Well, now I've gotten that.  But I didn't expect a change to come over me when this happened... only those around me.

Now I find I don't mind if we just watch a movie because she's too tired from the day before.  I'm just glad she was out and happy.  I don't mind that she talks about old friends... it makes me smile to think of a person who was so good at making her happy--someone who took her out on adventures and let her spill her soul just like I do.  I don't mind that her boyfriend is the center of most things.  He makes her feel special, he shows her a good time, and he's kind to her.  That's really all I could want for her.

Instead of craving adventure, now I just want to hear her talk.  I want her to tell me what's going on in side of that head of hers... I want to try and help mend whatever issues she's having, and I want to laugh at the funny stories she has to share. 
I want to just sit there with her and take in the feeling of actually being relaxed.  It's amazing how much stress I feel all the time just from being around people whom I am desperate not to mess up around.

I just want to connect with her,
and now suddenly other people, too.

I thought adventure and pretty pictures made me happy.
And, while that's fun...
It's really the security of true friendship.