Not Sure if I -want- to Let Go

What if you should decide that you don't want me there by you side,

that you don't want me there in your life?

I'm trying to actually envision it... life without you.  And you know what, no matter how much I might mope at first, I think I could live with it.  Someone else would always come along, and I'd eventually have a husband for a best friend.  

Maybe you want to let go of highschool completely, including me, so that there's nobody who remembers who you used to be.

Well the vulnerable, confused, highschool you is the one who I picked to care about.  I chose to love you, and I chose to spend all of this time with you.  I chose to go through a lot of difficult things... which were all worth it, because if they hadn't happened I wouldn't be nearly this close to you.  I wouldn't have an escape--somebody to run away with when things are just too much to deal with for the moment.

Moral of the story: Yes, I can live without you, and I will have to eventually.  

 

But the dreamer within me says that it won't be a forever goodbye.  The dreamer Coree says we'll make lives for ourselves and meet up again, stronger and happier than ever, to raise our kids with each other.  Our husbands will grill stuff and talk about the game while our little rascals run around in the backyard, playing princess and house and climbing trees and discovering what an amazing thing life is.  We'll sit on the swinging bench on the porch and keep a watchful eye on our families, while making plans for birthday parties and Relief Society centerpieces and outings to go window shopping.

Maybe it won't happen.  Maybe you don't want it to.

But I can see it so vividly... I feel like I'm already there.  

And, if nothing else, it's a thought that gets me through the day.